New toys for the big boys
Mood:  irritated
Topic: Ford F250
Hey there. So, I am supposed to start working sometime this week or next week. I am going to be watching or caring for full-time two girls that are the same age as my two girls so, I am hoping it all works and gets started soon. I am hoping all the kids will play together well and everyone will enjoy the experience; we'll see what happens........ Anyway, so Erin starts telling me last week how we needs a new bigger truck. (Granted my Jeep is paid for but, we already have a nice $440.00 truck payment for his Toyota Tundra.) And honestly we haven't had one extra dollar since our camping trip back in November. But, last week he heard a rumor that his truck was gonna be paid off for him by somebody; there's been no confirmation of this nasty rumor but it sure did get Erin to thinking about how he really really wants a big big truck.. Not only all that but he did give me a list of reasons why we needed it soooo bad. (Some of his reasons included 1-we need something to pull the boat in the summer. 2-we need something to pull the 37ft camper/trailer we borrow when we go camping. 3-he always wanted a nice big truck that he could actually fit in and stretch out his legs while driving as opposed to having his knees in his chin. The list goes on and on and he was pretty attimate. Needless to say I gave in and I finaly just said, "Fine, you go get it, you're the one who is responsible for the bills and you're the one who is gonna have to deal with whatever stress it creates." Within less than 24 hours he came home with a nice new 2005 Ford F250. And it is really nice and all so, it's not that I don't like it or don't want it. I just don't understand why we would stress ourselves to the max and everything just for a nice new truck when we already had one to start off with. Yeah, those nice payments are $850 a month! YIKES! I guess Erin is feeling rather confident in his working abilities now that the company is finishing up all of it's changes to the new company. Ya know, when most people take a pay cut and they don't know if they're gonna have a job from day to day you would think that they would try to lower their monthly expenses instead of raising them but, who am I to say? I could go on and on and on about this but - enough of the nagging for now. More to come later.............................

Hello!
Hey there, Ho there, huh, who goes there? I don't know if I am coming or going most of the time. I have about four minutes till our cookies are done and Brooke is distracted by Stewie so now, I'm gonna write, write, write...............
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Geez, the time just flies! Another year gone by.............What did I accomplish this past year? Ooh, sometimes it's painful to refltect, yikes! That thought hurt a little.......Hmmm, did I gain that supermodel figure I've been trying to achieve for years? NO. But, I am actively involved in the process to loose these unwanted baby and just plain laziness pounds. I have spring fever bad and if I want to enjoy my summer I think I had better get on the ball. I am just saying that I need to be prepared when it comes self-esteem checking time/swimsuit buying time. Have I achieved peace in my heart? Well, I don't think I had to runaway from anything this year. I feel good about all of the overall choices I made through out the year. I have definitely gotten closer....... Have I achieved peace in my house? It's well on it's way. Erin and I are at least getting along and listening to each other. We don't argue in front of the kids. Our kids are happy and have a sense of self. I think despite our differences we are giving them a stable loving home environment. That's probably what I am most happy with myself about. I try to be very conscious of every decision I make these days and how it might affect the girls today or even later in their lives. I am proud of who I am as a Mom and the example I set. More to come later; kids calling.................................

Oh so busy..........
Yeah, like these holidays are really just flying by man. It seems like we just got back from camping for Thanksgiving yesterday........I mean I have accomplished nothing worth noting since then.........pathetic, eh? I haven't had much time to blog between play dates, job hunting, christmas shopping, and regular duties around the house. I am sooooo ready for Christmas to be here and gone. This time of year can be stressful and draining but, hey I have managed to stay out of trouble and not do anything crazy although I have wanted to on more than one occasion. Why is that? OOOoooh, that reminds me. About a week or two ago I was having this horribly bad migraine headache at about midnight to 2:00AM. Maryjane decided she wanted to be cranky on this particular night as well. My head was pounding so bad I just wanted to cry, matter of fact I was crying...... Anyway, I asked Erin to tend to Maryjane because I didn't think I was in the right state of mind to handle her. Basically she was really cranky, crying, and going on and on and on and on. She seemed relentless and Erin was convinced she only wanted me. I decided to jump up and get into the shower to try to make my headache go away (I had popped a couple(5) of Ibuprofen 800 and that didn't put a dent in it.) Okay I'm rambling let's just say that Erin and I started arguing and before you know it I was so angry that I was walking down the street in my hood with wet hair wearing only my boxer short pajamas - not even any shoes! It was only like in the 30s outside at this time. My head was pounding, the baby was crying, I was so super stressed that I just wanted to go to sleep and everything be a bad dream but that wasn't happening. I walked almost an entire mile before I had to slap myself in the face and say "Joleene, what the heck are you thinking? Go home, go home before you regret it." So, I went home. (I was actually going home because my frozen feet were KILLING me, it had nothing to do with those voices arguing in my head!) Yes, yes, I went home. Maryjane was sleeping and Erin was laying down. So, I just layed down and finally went back to sleep myself. In the morning Erin was like patronizing me by saying, "are we okay today, did we have a bad night last night?" I dunno, I suppose you'd of had to hear the sarcasm in his voice to see why it annoyed me but, it did. I have no clue how I got off on that story but, that's the end of it. I'm too exhausted to go back and review. Anyhow, just in case I don't make it back before Christmas I hope everyone has a very happy holiday season and sends me lots of cash!
We will be here in town for Christmas, going out on the town on the 26th, taking the girls and their friends from California to Circus Circus on the 27th, and then resting a couple of days before we head out and go to the high desert of California to ring in the New Year! Whew! Sounds like we are going to be on the go for the next little bit. I'll keep ya posted if any juice starts to happen over here in my neck of the woods...........

It's a might bit chilly outside
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: Weather
Aren't kids just great? Maryjane had to go to the doctor yesterday to get caught up on her shots. She got three actually. Whew! That was fun. Maryjane only cried for like a split second. The problem began when Brooke didn't get any shots. She was so upset she started kicking and screaming, literally throwing herself on the floor. She was yelling "Give me shots, I want shots. That's not fair, give me shots!" The nurses were all giggling. One even stated "I'm used to hearing the kids cry all the time from getting shots but, I've never heard one cry because they didn't get any! How cute!" Yeah, cute for her but, embarrassing for me.
and Brrrrrr, isn't it cold outside? Yikes, I barely leave my house as it is; I couldn't imagine living where it gets like really freezing cold. Brrrrrr. I was watching the weather channel for a few choice cities and I noticed that where my bro lives in South Carolina it's in the 30's and where my sis lives in Missouri it's like below zero. I mean what do these people do; do they have food stored up in their houses like chipmunks and squirrels or do they eat a lot and sleep along time like bears? OOOoooh, think if you had to work outside in it too! When will I ever go outside again, on a regular basis???? In the summer it's too hot and now it's winter and it's too cold. At least next summer I've got my pool to chill in everyday......................... Perhaps by then I'll have some self-esteem?

I feel special
So, my pal Nickey called me up yesterday. She was playing hookie from work and spent the day with me. She never misses work just to hang out so I felt the need to take total advantage of the situation. We played games with the girls, played a little Rummy, ate some snacks, played battleship, and then it was all good we were all gamed out. When she left Erin came home shortly later and I hadn't done anything for the day because I had been having so much fun I forgot about all my chores. OOoops! I caught everything up early this morning so, there's no slacking on my part.
I feel like I am getting those "right before Christams" blues. It seems to happen to me every year right about this time but this year it is exceptionally rough because the whole no income timing is not the best. Things always seem to work out for the best but, it's this in limbo crap I never like.
I think I am going to be needing a few "stress relievers". I always try to think of healthy ways of relieveing building tension so I don't just explode and/or go out and do stupid stuff. So, what are my options at this point? What works good for Jojo? I could go on a wild drunken drinking binge and just drink until the holidays have completely passed me by. But, I can't afford it and that wouldn't really be fair to my kids so, let's see, hmm. I could go pawn all our valuables and then go gamble that money and try to turn it into thousands so we can get presents for everyone. But, then if I loose not only will we still have nothing for Christmas but, we wouldn't have what we started with either. Hmmm, maybe I could relieve some tension by some good ole fashion sex. Oh yeah, we don't do that. This whole set up just drives me absolutely crazy ----- In a "normal" relationship the man and woman could help each other relieve tension through intercourse. Sucks to be me cause that's just not an option. I have yet to figure it all out. But I keep waiting for Erin to be attracted to me and bust that move. I think that people think that just becasue we have two kids that there's something there. Fortunately he is a nice guy and we get along when it comes to just about everything else. (I think that's probably just becasue he agrees with every thing I say for the most part.) And he is a great Dad to our two girls....... I told him the other day that maybe I could go work at the brothel in Pahrump on the weekends and he could stay here with the girls then I could make bank and still spend most of the time at home with the kids. He didn't even acknowledge me so, hhmmm, I wonder if that means he's thinking about it. I figure it's a win win solution for both of us?????????????/

A little relaxing.........
I have finally been able to recoop order within my house and clean up all thelittle messes from or camping adventure. Fun, fun, fun, but now it is all over. I managed to get away for awhile by myself on Friday night. I had a few drinks and played Pai Gow for hours on in. When my buzz wore off I staggered to my drove home.....kidding...........I waited a while, like the good girl I am - ate a little something in the cafe by myself and then headed home. It was just nice to be away for a few hours. It was exceptionally nice considering the loss of a job meant the loss of my allowance. I think I'll be able to manage, I'll keep you posted on the job thing. Ya never know, I could be back into the working fields faster than one might think.............. I love my freedom.........

A little relaxing.........
I have finally been able to recoop order within my house and clean up all thelittle messes from or camping adventure. Fun, fun, fun, but now it is all over. I managed to get away for awhile by myself on Friday night. I had a few drinks and played Pai Gow for hours on in. When my buzz wore off I staggered to my drove home.....kidding...........I waited a while, like the good girl I am - ate a little something in the cafe by myself and then headed home. It was just nice to be away for a few hours. It was exceptionally nice considering the loss of a job meant the loss of my allowance. I think I'll be able to manage, I'll keep you posted on the job thing. Ya never know, I could be back into the working fields faster than one might think.............. I love my freedom.........

Where did all my blog time go??????
So, yeah, we had a nice Thanksgiving. Actually, we packed up the family and headed out to the ole' Dumont Dunes in San Bernandino County, California. We got a 37 foot camper/travel trailer thingy and loaded up the goods. There were probably 35 to 40 people in our group by the end of the venture. All went well; it was nice because noone really got out of control and everyone got along good. We built a little mini-track at camp for the kids to ride around on while the big people would go out on the dunes. Sweet! For Thanksgiving we ate a Roast with potatoes and Carrots and all that sorta stuff. I had previously decided it would be too hard to cook a Turkey while out camping so, the crockpot was my alternative considering I was the one doing all the cooking. At night we sat around the campfire, sang songs and told what we were thankful for. Isn't that sweet.............

So, what's up now? Well, yesterday Erin came home to announce he was told that the company he has been working for eleven years is closing on friday. When they pick up their checks, boom, that's it. What a shocker! Are we prepared? Not really, but, I know Erin can get a job again easily. It has put a little lump in stomache though because I feel like somehow I've lost my sense of security and nothing has really even happened yet. Strange thing is I already feel the tension. I really hope this doesn't cause me to do anything stupid as I tend to do all the wrong things at all the wrong times; hopefully being consciously aware will help me. So, if you see or hear me being wierd say "Hey, Joleene, snap out of it!" I don't even know why but something inside me is saying run, run and hide, yeah hide so noone can find you. Why should I hide, what do I need to hide from? (REALITY) And what good would that do? You see, the normal sane part of me says just relax and see what happens while the crazy out of whack side of me says chaos is inevitable so go get em'. Perhaps this can be the perfect time for me to go get a job, Erin insists on me staying at home with the kids but, I do have a usable degree that's just been getting dusty........... Do they let crazy ladies teach kids these days? I don't see why not, they let pedifiles. It appears as though I am rambling per the usual so, I must be gone now. Don't worry though, I am not running to hide I am simply turning off my computer!

Happy Thanksgiving
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Turkeys
So, I'm a little late at a few things these days.........

Plan, Prepare, and Procrastinate
Hmmm, I'm having a difficult time remembering all the Proper P's to carrying out a task. We are trying to get ready for a family trip to Dumont next week and all I can think about is what I'm gonna fix for dinner tonight. The proposed plan currently includes leaving on wednesday afternoon, and returning on saturday. Now Erin's responsibilities include getting the bikes and toys ready while my responsibilities include getting Us and the kids packed and ready, planning and preparing and shopping for all the food we'll need while camping out, getting all the first Aid and camping necessities ready and finding someone to watch our house and the dogs. I currently feel so overwhelmed I'm doing nothing. As I sit back and analyze this nothing is getting me no where; better move to plan B. So, I guess I'll start by making a menu and cleaning all the laundry. That'll take me a while in between dirty diapers and Dora the Explorer so, let me get that much done and I'll be back to brainstorm some more.